Chat rules
Last updated 14 October 2026
These rules cover the live chat, every chat room, private messages, the crisis room and the community forum. They exist so members can talk honestly without someone ruining it. Moderators read them before deciding what to do with a reported message.
In trouble right now?
The support page lists free crisis lines for every country, urgent help in the UK, and how to email Steven Mobbs, who runs Healthy men. The crisis room is open to any signed-in member, free, whatever your plan.
Got a question, or something to share?
Not everything suits a fast-moving chat. The members-only Community forum is for asking questions and sharing experiences — anxiety, low mood, work, sleep and more. Only signed-in members can read it, and the same rules apply.
1. Talk like you'd want to be talked to
Disagreement is fine. Name-calling, mocking, ganging up and piling on are not. If a thread turns into an argument about the argument, walk away from it.
2. No abuse, threats or hate
Abusive, threatening, hateful or harassing messages are not welcome — including anything aimed at someone's race, sexuality, religion, disability or background. This is the one rule that gets a member blocked, not just a message deleted.
What moderators can do: Block
3. No spam, selling or advertising
No links to products, services, betting tips, crypto or 'DM me for details'. No repeated posting of the same message. One genuine mention of something that helped you is fine; a pitch is not.
What moderators can do: Delete
4. If someone might be at risk
Messages that encourage harm, or describe wanting to hurt yourself or someone else, are taken seriously. Moderators may remove the message so other members aren't left holding it, and every reported message of this kind gets a human look, not an automatic one.
What moderators can do: Check first
5. Keep private things private
Don't share another member's real name, workplace, photo or anything else they haven't shared themselves. Don't post screenshots of private messages without permission.
6. Be who you are
No impersonating another member, a group leader or the Healthy men team. No accounts made just to stir things up.
7. The crisis room is for support
The crisis room stays free and judgement-free for any signed-in member. Its own rules: listen first, don't argue or lecture, no graphic detail about methods, never tell someone to go through with harm, and point people to a helpline if they're in danger now. Moderators review reports there first and can delete any harmful message. Crisis lines are always listed on the support page and pinned in the room.
How a report is decided
When a message is flagged, a moderator reads it against these rules and then blocks the member, deletes the message, or leaves it up — always with a reason recorded. Nothing happens automatically. If you think a decision was wrong, email us and we will look again.
Not sure whether something breaks a rule? Post it anyway and let a moderator judge it — or ask in a chat room first.
These pages are about the service, not about you being in trouble. If you're in crisis right now, call 999 or your local emergency number, or find your free crisis line on the support page.